Just back from spending the Bank-Holiday weekend in Wales. For overseas readers, that's the sticky-out bit halfway up the left-hand side of the UK.
West Wales to be more precise, the verdant county of Gwynedd, and one of my favourite locations on Earth. But guess what, dear reader? Yes, it pissed down, 24/7, for 5 full days. Now there's a thing. (See previous 2 posts). I did however learn a little Welsh language, namely the above title, which means 'It's raining'. Well, it's a tough ol' language to crack, so the pace is bound to be slow at first.
Still, as it clearly states in the Magna Carta, if you plan anything in the UK around the weather, you're screwed before you start, and so the Sonic Family Robinson went on some nice walks, ate some class local produce, and drank fine non-local wines. All to the, by now, reassuring sounds of driving, malevolent rain.
That said, the Old Testament weather seems to provide ideal conditions for the region's burgeoning Surf community. So much so that the local town, Tywyn, now boasts a 'groovily' decked-out Surfer-friendly clothes shop, giving the local Methodists a taste of Tie-Dye California, or at least Aberystwyth, on their own doorstep.

As the UK descends even further into terminal Drought conditions (see previous post for full run-down) I thought it best to take matters into my own hands.
I find that by staring at the accompanying image for 15-20 minutes every morning, I can stave off depressive urges, and the general impulse to trade what few meagre possessions I have for a one-way ticket to Florida, just like Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy. However I hope not to have to bludgeon a religious pervert to death with a telephone to raise the funds. Fingers crossed.
Of course, when I was a boy Summer stretched on forever. Swimmin' down the water-hole, fishin' with ma fishin'-pole, skinny-dipping with Betty-Lou an' fresh-caught catfish for tea....halcyon days.
Ok, so I watched the Adventures of Huck Finn on SkyTV this morning. That's about as near to a summer as I'll probably get here, so I can be excused.
Right, I'll stop talking about the weather now....right....about....now........
Godammit, it's hard to stop! I'll NEVER stop.....I'm a Brit, in Britain! There's a reason why we bang on about the weather constantly. BECAUSE IT'S SH*T!
ALL THE TIME!!!
Dammit, now the Ward-Orderly is looking at me funny...back to the online sunshine....

The more observant amongst you will have noticed that I haven't been feeling too communicative of late...hence the gap between this post and the one before it...but some of life's questions require answers that, I have to admit dear reader, I cannot provide for myself. And so I meekly look upwards to cyberspace for guidance.
Take, for instance, The Eurovision Song Contest.
...and to think I watched Will & Grace in preference. I clearly need to pay more attention. From Church-Burnings to Terry Wogan, it's been one helluva wild ride into peak-time Family-Viewing for Heavy Metal's sinister, satanic, even more socially awkward cousin ... and all while I was watching the Other Channel.
Adding to the confusion is the fact that the nation's privatised water companies are still making record profits, and shareholders are still raking it in... Blimey, it's nothing short of Sorcery sir!
From where I write this, Summer is currently on hold and it's been raining day and night non-stop for over a week, presumably adding to the impending Drought situation that pretty soon we'll all be digging deep into our pockets to pay for.
There's no denying that the UK has always had a problem gathering, processing, and storing water, (which for an island upon which it rains for 300 days a year is pretty special, I'm sure we'd all agree).
However, figures from Ofwat, the UK's water regulator, reveal that water companies are leaking 3.6 billion litres of water per day.
The worst offender, Thames Water, loses 915 million litres of water every single day.
You don't need to be an economist to see where the money should be going.
Thus we find ourselves in a peculiar state of affairs that sees drought-orders being issued in some areas and flood-warnings in others.
This particular travesty is worthy of the masses marching on Downing Street in protest, it truly is.
Just when you thought that the Blair government had run out of positions in which to screw you, they go and find another.