It's not just AOL. My own private Techno-War is now being waged on two fronts; Vodaphone have joined the fray. Someone has to say it - timing has never been one of my strong points.
Some years back, I went from being a carefree pay-as-you-go kinda dude to having to consider a Mobile (U.S. readers: Cell) phone contract. After a fair degree of research I opted for Vodaphone. Later that same month, that same company made the biggest financial loss in UK corporate history. I'll wait a few moments for that to sink in fully. Corporate history.
Funnily enough, the same thing happened in 2006.


Whatever the case, fast forward to The Present and here I am, still with 'em. Yeah, I know.
Anyway, a fortnight or so ago I decided to negotiate a better deal. To this end I feel, the best way to cut to the chase is simply to phone up and tell 'em you're leaving for another network. You will then be connected to a person whose sole job it is to try to prevent you from doing this.
Long story short: I got a deal that I was reasonably happy with, plus a new phone in the post as part of the agreement. My main priority was that the phone also be a 5 megapixel camera. I figured that having one of these on my genius, creative-ass person 24/7 could only be A Good Thing. I opted for the Samsung G600. Great camera, nice menus, slick design. One problem: Camera part - fine, but nothing else works. Calls get cut off constantly. Most incoming calls never come at all. People think I'm hanging up on them. Not good.
I ring the company. Vodaman tells me to take my phone to the nearest Vodashop. They will run tests, assess the results, and give me a brand new one if needs be. Today I did this very thing.
There, Vodawoman tells me: That's just not true. We never have done/never will do this. Seems that, at best, they have to send the phone off to be repaired - takes at least a week.
I say to her: A mobile phone company telling downright lies to one of their own customers? Say it ain't so!!
She says: 'Hmm...er, yes. Anything else we can help you with?'
Presumably, now's the time for me to re-familiarise myself with the Great British phonebox.